Work smart, not hard. That’s my philosophy

MI TRIBUTO AL HEROE MAS CHINGON DEL UNIVERSO JOHN McCLANE

Junio 8th, 2008 by JORGE LIMAS



JOHN McCLANE NO SE ANDA CON MAMADAS…SI KIERE KEJARSE SE KEJA SI KIERE LLORAR LLORA SI KIERE REZAR REZA Y SI KIERE MATARTE…..WENO….JEJE…..

LA SAGA DE DURO DE MATAR O DIE HARD O LA JUNGLA DE CRISTAL PARA MI ES LA LEY ES LO UNICO KE ME LEVANTA EL ANIMO APARTE DE LA MUSICA, Y DE ALGUNA MANERA ES LA HERENCIA MAS GRANDE KE ME DEJO MI DIFUNTO PADRE, KIEN FUE EL KE ME PRESENTO LA PRIMERA PELIKULA…..Y KE POSTERIORMENTE SE VOLVERIA PELICULA DE CULTO PARA MI, PORKE? PORKE PARA ALGUIEN KE PIERDE A SU PADRE CUANDO ESTAS MORRO PUES ES NO HAY MANERA DE SUSTITUIR O AL MENOS AMINORAR ESA FALTA DE LA FIGURA PATERNA Y EN HONOR DE MI PADRE, JOHN McCLANE Y SU AKTITUD DE CHINGA TUMADRE FUERON LO KE AMINORARON MI DOLOR…APARTE KE ME IDENTIFIKO KON EL HECHO DE ENFRENTAR TOTALMENTE EN SOLITARIO ESTA PUTA VIDA DE MIERDA…APARTE KE REALMENTE YO TAMBIEN ME ENKUENTRO EN EL LUGAR EKIVOKADO EN EL MOMENTO EKIVOKADO Y NI SE DIGA KE SOY EL TIPO EKIVOKADO….PERO WENO DEJEMONOS DE MAMADAS Y AKI LES DEJO LAS QUOTES DEL BUEN BRUCE WILLIS EN DIE HARD, DIE HARD 2: DIE HARDER, DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE Y LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD…..ESPEREMOS KE PRONTO HAGA OTRA….YIPIE KI YAY MOTHER FUCKER!!! FUCK YEAH!

  • Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.
  • Drop it, dickhead!
  • [to himself] Why the fuck didn’t you stop them, John? Because then you’d be dead, too, asshole!
  • [Stealing dead terrorist’s shoes] Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister.
  • [Crawling through a narrow ventilation shaft] Now I know what a TV dinner feels like.
  • I got invited to the Christmas party by mistake. Who knew?
  • [About to jump off the edge of the roof with the fire hose tiedaround his waist] I promise I will never even think about going up in a tall building again. Oh, God. Please don’t let me die.
  • Take this under advisement, jerkweed.
  • [Recalling his wife’s invitation as he crawls through the debris of his latest tangle with the terrorists] “Come out to the coast, we’ll get together, have a few laughs…”
  • [After he shoots Hans] Happy trails, Hans.
  • [After he dumps the body of a terrorist on Sgt. Al Powell’s police car] Welcome to the party, pal.
  • [As he pushes a chair loaded with plastic explosives into the elevator shaft] Geronimo, motherfucker!
  • [tying a firehose around his waist] Oh, John, what the fuck are you doing? How the fuck did you get into this shit?
  • [During the fight with Karl] You should have heard your brother squeal when I broke his fuckin’ neck!
  • [Holding Karl in a headlock while beating him] I’m gonna kill you, I’m gonna fuckin’ cook you, and I’m gonna fuckin’ eat you!
  • [in response to dispatch telling McClane that the line is reserved for emergency calls only] “No fucking shit, lady, does it sound like I’m ordering a pizza?”

Taglines

  • High above the city of L.A. a team of terrorists has seized a building, taken hostages and declared war. One man has managed to escape. An off-duty cop hiding somewhere inside. He’s alone, tired… and the only chance anyone has got.
  • Twelve terrorists. One cop. The odds are against John McClane… That’s just the way he likes it.
  • He’s the only chance anyone has got.
  • It’s Christmas Eve In L.A. And The Party Action’s About To Explode… On The Fortieth Floor!
  • Suspense, Excitement, Adventure, On every level!
  • 40 Stories High — with Suspense, Excitement and Adventure on every level

They say lightning never strikes twice… They were wrong

  • No, don’t write it up, don’t write it up. Come on, man. This is my mother in law’s car. She’s all ready mad at me because I’m not a dentist.
  • Hey, Carmine. Let me ask you something. What sets off the metal detectors first, the lead in your ass or the shit in your brain?
  • I’ve got an unidentified stiff here.
  • What the fuck do you think this is, eh? The safety patrol, here? This is the resume of a professional mercenary, you’ve got the world’s biggest drug dealer on his way here now, what d’ya need, a slide rule to figure this out. Or maybe another body in a zipper bag before we start asking questions.
  • Ah, man, I can’t fucking believe this. Another basement, another elevator. How could the same shit happen to the same guy, twice.
  • Yippie-Ki-Yay, motherfucker.

Taglines

  • Die Harder
  • They say lightning never strikes twice… They were wrong.
  • John McClane, terrorist and in an airport. Nothing can go wrong this time.
  • Last time, it blew you through the back wall of the theater. This time, it will blow you sky high!
  • Yippee Ki Yay, all over again!
  • I hate it when I’m right.
  • Look who’s back in the wrong place at the right time.

Think Fast. Look Alive. Die Hard.

  • Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker
  • I never knew Canada could be this much fun.
  • Say hello to your brother.
  • [walking up to two bad guys in a truck] Hey fellas! Mickey O’Brien, aquaduct security. Hey listen, we got a report of a guy coming through with err… eight reindeer. [empties his pistol on them] Yeah, they said he was a jolly old fat guy with a snowy white beard, cute little red n’ white suit! I’m surprised you didn’t see him.

Yippee Ki Yay Mo - John 6:27

  • Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker [partially cut in theatrical version]
  • [Rand is jumping between walls in the cooling column] Damn hamster!
  • Hold still, spider-boy!
  • I’m going to go get my daughter and kill this guy.
  • That’s gonna wake the neighbours.
  • Just another day in paradise.
  • Yeah I just saw it. I did it.
  • All right, thats enough of this kung-fu shit!
  • [mocking his boss] “Can’t be a uniform John!” [to bystander] Get over to a wall sir!, [continues mocking] “Feds called in a favor! All you got to do is go pick up a kid (groans) in Jersey and drive him down to D.C.” How hard can that be, Huh? Can’t be that hard, No, can it? No, gotta be a senior detective!
  • Thing like a traffic jam, throwing a car at me’s gonna stop me?
  • I know I’m not as smart as you guys at all this computer shit. But, hey… I’m still alive, ain’t I? I mean, you’ve GOT to be running out of bad guys by now, right? Huh? Gabriel? Honestly, you can tell me. I mean, how does that work? Got some kind of service or something? Some kind of 800 number? 1-800-HENCHMEN? Oh, you know what? I bet you’re still on hold with, “Can I get another dead Asian hooker bitch over here right away?”
  • Do you know what you get for being a hero? Nothing! You get shot at. Pat on the back, blah blah blah. That a boy! You get divorced… Your wife can’t remember your last name, kids don’t want to talk to you… You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me kid, nobody wants to be that guy. [I do this] because there is nobody else to do it right now. Believe me if there was somebody else to do it, I would let them do it. There’s not, so [I’m] doing it. That’s what makes you that guy.”
  • Oh, this is a bad fuckin’ idea.
  • [Climbing the SUV] Let’s just talk about this for one second [Mai punches him]
  • [choking Mai with chains] There, that’s not too tight is it?
  • Command center? [laughs] It’s a basement!

Category: CINE |


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